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Racism.

I try not to watch too much of the news, I feel like the media is always willing to fill our heads with all of the bad in the world and never the good. But the news of the recent death of black American George Floyd at the hands of white police officers and theContinue reading “Racism.”

In between.

I’ve no idea how long we sat with Dad for, it felt like forever. Slowly, one by one, we left the room, leaving Mum to have some time alone with him. I called Lee to break the news making sure he wasn’t within earshot of Tommy, we agreed to tell him together later on. IContinue reading “In between.”

Happy Birthday.

Today is my Dad’s 51st birthday. Today should have been my Dad’s 51st birthday. When do you make that transition from present to past tense? Because I don’t want to have to make that transition, in doing so I’m accepting that Dad has gone and I’m not ready to do so just yet. This morningContinue reading “Happy Birthday.”

Goodbye Pt 2.

Dying, especially from an illness such as cancer, is not a simple process. I wish I could say my Dad closed his eyes and slipped peacefully away but unfortunately that wasn’t the case. Out of respect for my family and most importantly my Dad, there are elements to his story that I have decided toContinue reading “Goodbye Pt 2.”

Mini Post; Mental Health.

Mental Health Awareness Week – something that I’d never given a second thought to until this year, just like my own mental health. I’d never really understood just how much of an impact mental health issues could have on your life, until I experienced them myself. I’d had a handful of panic attacks in theContinue reading “Mini Post; Mental Health.”

Goodbye; Pt 1.

You hear about people completing their ‘Bucket Lists’ after learning that they have a terminal illness; some people are lucky enough to do just that. The reality for us, however was so very different. As February came around, there was no improvement in Dad’s condition and he had no quality of life. The cancer wasContinue reading “Goodbye; Pt 1.”

Germany.

Every time someone said “I’m so sorry about your Dad” “You just have to enjoy every moment you have together” “Try not to count down the days” I just wanted to scream in their face; “That’s easy for you to say!” Could they not think of anything else, these words were of no comfort toContinue reading “Germany.”

Terminal. Part 2.

I screamed. I screamed so loud that I woke Tommy up. I kept asking “How long?” over and over but Dad shook his head, initially unable to answer. Eventually he told me he’d been given 18 months. I couldn’t breathe. It felt as if the room was closing in on me, everything was black andContinue reading “Terminal. Part 2.”

Terminal. Part 1.

On the 12th September, shortly after returning from Spain, Dad commenced his second cycle of chemotherapy. The plan was to have 4 more sessions of the FLOT treatment and then a CT scan to determine if all the cancer cells had gone. But this cycle of chemo completely kicked the shit out of him. AsContinue reading “Terminal. Part 1.”

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